Good Books

Ever since school let out in December, I have had a really hard time with life. In fact, I have been completely depressed. I know that this seems completely ridiculous, as I have never really enjoyed school and the stresses that come along with it. I mean, my fall semester could be characterized as absolute hell with working and going to school full time, as well as coming down with the flu and the swine flu within a few weeks of each other. Although I have my job to occupy most of my days, I have since felt very strongly a lack of purpose and self-worth.

Well, my wonderful husband Scott has been very supportive and concerned. We have had several talks about worthwhile things that I can do now to occupy my time while I wait for school to start in the fall and the dental hygiene program to begin. One of the things that I chose was to start this blog and the other was to renew my love for reading. Since February, I have read quite a few books and most of them have been good.

Last night, I finished my 13th book since starting at the end of January. "The Book Thief" by Markus Zusak was amazing. For some reason, I have always been drawn to stories during World War II and the Holocaust. Yes, they are very depressing and that's probably one of the reasons why I like them. But I also like them because although there is great suffering, there always seems to be some great strength as well. "The Book Thief" was different in that it came from the other side of the fence--not from a Jew's perspective but from a German citizen's and a German town greatly affected by the war. It is ultimately about a girl with a love of books whose family secretly takes a Jew into their home. As I got to the end and subsequently began sobbing my eyes out, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude--not only for good books, but for the time I have been given to read them. I realized then that I have been very ungrateful and impatient at this stage I am at right now. I have been mopey and depressed and selfish, pitying myself at every turn for not having money and not being able to move forward with my degree and even a family. So now as I realize that this kind of time won't come back around for a while, I have decided to finally enjoy it. Life really is a lot better when you count your blessings.